Male/Female Friendships

Don't we all just love this topic?!

Well. Here is something the Lord has been opening my eyes to lately... In male/female friendships USUALLY (not always! I have many AMAZINGLY awesome and pure male friendships that I am so thankful for! But I have had my fair share of mishaps too) one person falls for the other. Just from spending so much time together and just really loving that person, feelings and thoughts can arise (especially with the ladies...don't deny it girls) And after watching my failed friendships or watching some of my guy friends go through friendships with girls that didn't work out I keep noticing that the guy always gets the blame... like always! Because "they didn't protect my heart" and "they led me on" type of stuff. Which in some and many cases is true, don't get me wrong. But here is what I have been thinking about lately...

What if we ladies were honest.

Think about it... what if we were honest! Honest with ourselves and honest with our friend. I know that there are so many girls out there, myself included that say "Oh I love him like a brother or a best friend" (which again, could be true...I am just giving an example). If we tell a guy that we see them that way, they are going to believe it! They don't speak in code like we do girls, they are extremely straight forward most of the time. I also know that many times in friendships I just sat around and waited thinking "I don't want to steal their role as leader in this relationship"... well ladies, think about the fact you aren't in a relationship with them! No role to steal. We need to be strong in Spirit and be honest with these men so they know better how to guard our hearts and be our FRIENDS! So when you have that DTR (Define the relationship) be honest as early as you can in a friendship. Deny your flesh that wants to be given attention to and talked to and texted all the time and guard the most precious thing you have. And know that the Lord desires your attention, your texts, and your heart far above any guy out there. He wants it first.

Also by being honest with them you can help lead your brother in Christ into righteousness so he later down the road doesn't have to be known as the "heart breaking Christian boy", am I right?

Another thing I have noticed is that girls deny their feelings... they try and convince themselves that they don't have feelings for him. That they do only see him as a brother or friend, but actions speak otherwise. So really evaluate your friendship and don't try and hide or deny your feelings. If he is abiding in Christ, He will admire your honesty and respect your identity as a Beloved daughter of Christ. Some things I like to ask myself when evaluating how I treat a guy... 1. Do I treat him like every other guy I talk to? 2. Do I desire his attention or for him to notice me? 3. Am I more aware of his whereabouts when in a group/room than anyone else? 4. Do I act a certain way to get attention/help from him? (i.e. whiny, sad, upset) 5. Do I run to him with my problems/trials/fears before the Lord and sisters?

Be honest and know that God wants what is best for you. He will sacrifice things that are good for you, to give you what is best. Cling to His promises. Know He has a perfect plan that is good for you and in the meantime, abide in Him and love others purely. Wait on the Lord. Guard your heart. Be set apart.

Here is a verse I cling to when thinking about how to treat my brothers in Christ...with ABSOLUTE purity.

"Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." 1 Timothy 5:1